Community Jamboree

Ga!
I can't give up!
NOT YET!

Only just begun

Guh

to exist...

in the way I choose to.

Do we realize, as humans, how much power we have over our existence?
Do we know we co-create...
we are not victims
we are not vehicles driven by a total outside force...

there's a dance--
a union--
a communion,

with the divine.

I am totally inspired by this process. As I begin to delve into creating a lifestyle that feeds and nourishes my body, heart and spirit-- I examine what it is to be a dancer of the heart...
in tune with the community, as well as my own heart.

I'm realizing this process involves everyone. And the more I step into communing with the desires of my own heart, the more people I get involved (or the cosmos brings) into the process. It's challenging-- in a good-- new-- and slightly unfamiliar way. I feel I just need to absorb it all as I would a meditation or yoga session: observe body, breath and surroundings as a detached observer.

AND THEN....

...then...

there comes the harmony.

I know it's a constant process. And it takes a lot to stay light and positive in the process (to which I thank my peeps, like you all reading this-- supporting and reading and responding).

I can honestly admit I'm scared to step into the world so boldly. I know I can be quite bold. But, as I learn to harness my passions for life in productive, supportive ways for all, I feel that things just flow in a very gentle, loving way.

Wishing the same to all of you!

Things are moving quite quickly lately, aren't they?

The speed of light is upon us. Can we keep up? With each others support, we can

and we ARE.

Namaste to all!
<3

whew!

heart needs pacemaker

Okay:
I LOVE this process. It helps me sift through the muddle into the light of truth and clarity: focus!

A guy I met this summer at a random event gave me a turtle on "non date date" (i don't like dates so much). and i was surprised, b/c i hardly new him...but when he was on vacation he said he thought of me when he saw this little metal turtle. we were both recovering from losses of partners...and had had conversations about taking it slow-- how impt. that is. Well, we didn't end up taking it slow. He was from PA and Syracuse and ended up coming up twice for visits. The 2nd time we dove into intimacy quickly and it didn't feel right. That was the end of that and I was left with the turtle in his wake. i gave him a turtle emblem too... so he was left with that.

UGH. i just gave the turtle to a friend going through a similar thing.

But i feel like i'm still trying to get it. i'm tortoise-like in all else that i do.... outside of love.
i learn by doing and absorbing and hands-on experimentation. but in relationships, there's always been this overwhelming passion that has taken hold... and off i've gone. often letting my heart go faster than my head or vice versa.

with delving into yoga, i'm feeling that "big picture" view of this part of my life.

after my travels, i'm feeling less of that teenage angst-- that desire to move fast and burn out my love of a place quickly is dying or has died. i'm surprised by my growing tree-like nature. it feels nice to naturally desire to grow roots, or let the roots grow me! ...

*sigh*

i can honestly say that i don't know what "love" is supposed to look like in an intimate way. i love everyone equally and don't have an issue feeling that sense of openess to express my heart to friends, students, lovers. however...
i feel like there's something i've been missing, both in my travels outward and inward.

that missing piece....

i seem to have misplaced it somewhere long, long ago.

Huh.

I wonder.

And I've wandered as I've wondered. But it's true that not all who wander are lost. And nothing is ever really lost.

My wanders took me to Thailand where I found a missing piece of my soul.

And now I'm back in the ROC. I'm discovering some inner magic here that is leading me closer to that missing piece.

What had gone "missing", however, is not tangible.

It's light.
It's luminous.
It's heartfelt
maybe even a little devious.

I like it.
I know it.
I want it.

I have it.

But i think i constantly forget.

Guh!

remembering is always fun.

gotta run.